Deep acceptance

What a quiet delight it is to return to my blog after more than a month away.

It’s been a time of deep reflection, and of careful prioritising in order to make best use of what little energy I have each day. For that second stroke, tiny though it was, has further reduced my stamina — for walking, for reading, for writing, for sitting up at the computer or chatting with visiting friends.

It was also a sobering wake-up call that compelled me to reflect on issues we in this society tend to ignore or deflect or defer. My body, true and strong and reliable for so long, has let me down spectacularly and unexpectedly. Having served me so well, it is wearing out long before I expected it would, propelling me into ‘old age’ at a time when I anticipated travel, expanded socialising, a wide range of possibilities and choices.

My dear body is forcing me to focus on reality rather than dreams and hopes and possibilities; it has given me the gifts of living in the present moment, and of practising grace and deep acceptance.

So what have I been doing these past weeks that has kept me away from my blog and from working on my memoir? I’ve been getting my affairs in order. Filling out forms — a task that has been difficult and taxing for me ever since the first stroke — to organise enduring guardianship and enduring power of attorney. And preparing an extensive advanced health care directive, just in case.

Completing these legal documents has required me to talk to doctors and lawyers about real and confronting personal details in order to ensure, as best I can, that my children will be fully and well supported should my body render me unable to speak or care for myself. It’s been quite a journey.

And it has brought me, eventually, to a place of deep peace and gentle optimism.

 

getting my affairs
in order — peaceful heart mind
family legacy

 

This entry was posted in Haiku, Post-stroke recovery, Writing and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to Deep acceptance

  1. Avril says:

    Dear Desney,

    Blessings.

    Avril

  2. Angie Moore says:

    This is a deeply moving reflection, Desney. Confronting our mortality and the betrayal of the body – learning acceptance – these realities are the stuff of true maturity and wisdom. You have both, and courage to match.
    much love
    Angie

  3. Pamela Robson says:

    Ah, Desney, how wonderful to have your blog once again pop into my letterbox. It’s been a while. You’re a determined little bugger… Talk about grit and steel… spade loads! So absolutely lovely to have you back in my in-box. Lots and lots of love, Pamela

  4. Your post is a work of art in that we read it many times while holding on to the words you have chosen and their many meanings … reaching out to them and to you. Through you, some of us are learning the art of grace, acceptance, bravery and peace.

  5. Great to see you blogging again! We all take our bodies for granted, even bemoan that they’re not skinny enough, or tall enough. You’ve reminded me to be grateful for my body just the way it is. xx

  6. Jenn Shallvey says:

    Desney
    Thank you for your graceful gift of example. May you live in the present for many years to come.
    x
    Jenn

  7. Jennifer Sweeney says:

    Thinking of you Desney, and sending you energy and love,
    Xxjenn

  8. AnnaM says:

    Dear Desney, I understand making the decisions to fill out those forms and get your affairs in order must have been a huge step. But such an important one to have in place. I’ve missed your posts, so it’s good to know how things are. Much love. Annax

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.